Alexander Hamilton Challenges You (and Everyone You Know) To a Duel

OK.  This is not actually true: Alexander Hamilton liked to duel *but* he didn't duel with everyone.  This fake news item form the "historical archives" of the Onion does capture a few kernels of truth necessary to satire and parody.  Can you spot the true bits? If you can, write your response in the comment section.

from The Onion, Oct. 4, 2008, Issue 44-41.

True story.  When many Americans think of Aaron Burr, they think of milk.  Why?  Because of this 1993 "Got Milk?" ad featuring actor Sean Whalen (whom you will recognize from everything).  The ad was directed by. . . Michael Bay (?!)  Incidentally, what would a Michael Bay movie about the duel between Hamilton and Burr look like?